


The Curse of Knowing

by kickcows



Series: The Umbra Effect [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, M/M, Sexual Content, Spoilers, hints of promptio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:59:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9949088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/pseuds/kickcows
Summary: Rather than face the grim reality after the evacuation of Altissia, Noctis calls on Umbra to head back to the past, where he can be with his friends - reliving happier times. But, knowing what the future holds has its consequences, as well as its rewards.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a headcanon sent to me by a ‘shy anon’ on tumblr, as well as a few of my own. Please enjoy!

* * *

The last few weeks have been the worst few weeks of Noctis’ life. After the Rite of the Covenant, he had woken up and found out that Luna had not made it, and had found out that Ignis had been gravely injured during the evacuation. And _that_  had hurt more than losing Luna had, which he knows he should have more of a heartache, but doesn’t. She was supposed to have been his bride - the woman that he was to spend the rest of his life with. And while her death had been a blow, Ignis losing his eyesight had been far worse. Ignis tells him that he’s fine, but Noctis knows that he’s not. How can he be, when everything that he loves to do can no longer be done with this injury? Which is why, when they arrive at Cartanica, rather than leave the train and head to where there’s supposedly a Royal Arms tomb, he heads straight to the sleeper car, and calls Umbra.

Even with Luna gone, Umbra comes to him when he calls, allowing him to get lost back when things were simpler. He has not gone back to the past since before the Rite, and now that he’s brought Umbra here, he’s almost afraid of going back. Closing his eyes, he asks Umbra to take him back to the past, feeling reality shift, taking him back to before they’d gone to Altissia. He wakes up in the caravan, and feels his heart almost stop in his chest. Something he’s taken for granted for far too long is presented to him, and it makes his eyes start to water, as sadness begins to creep in.

“Noctis?” Ignis asks, yawning, rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?” He picks up his glasses, and puts them on, a look of concern on his face.

He shakes his head, trying to compose himself, as he blinks away the tears. A few fall, but it doesn’t matter. “Had a nightmare.” He knows he can’t tell him the truth, so instead says the most logical thing to make Ignis not worry.

“Well, it’s almost sunrise. Do you want to help me make breakfast?” Ignis rolls his neck, joints cracking back into place. “Or, would you like to try and get more sleep?”

“I can help.” Noctis stands up, noticing that he has his slacks and vest on, instead of the black shorts and shirt he had on back in Cartanica. He fixes his vest, and does his best to not step on either Gladio or Prompto, who are both sleeping close to each other. It makes him happy that his two companions have found solace in each other on their long journey. He sees Ignis leave the caravan, and then follows him out.

Waves crash against the shore, the lights of Galdin Quay glittering against the pre-dawn sky. Ignis is getting the ingredients for their breakfast all set up on the small serving station, humming a quiet tune under his breath. Watching how methodical his advisor is, making sure certain spices don’t touch, or how they’re lined up - no doubt in order in which he plans to use them, he feels the sadness beginning to return. “Can I help at all?” He asks, not wanting to interrupt Ignis’ train of thought.

“Well, what would you like for breakfast? Toad in the hole? An omelet? Perhaps some oatmeal? I managed to pick some up while we were in Lestallum.”

“An omelet, with some of that garula steak we have?” Noctis hopes that this is the truth, because he can’t remember if they had any on hand the last time he’d traveled back here. “Unless we already went through our ration.”

Quiet laughter makes him turn his head, as he sees Ignis holding his fist up to his mouth, a serene smile on his face. Noctis feels elated, happy to see that he’s made Ignis laugh. Back in the present time, he can’t remember the last time any of them had shared a laugh. Probably when they’d gone to the Arena in Altissia, the night before everything had gone to hell. He just listens to Ignis work the laughter out, then starts to tap his foot against the sand, giving him an annoyed look, even though he’s feeling anything but annoyed.

“What?” Ignis asks, as he grabs some eggs from their small refrigerator. “What’s with that look?”

“I could be sleeping, you know.” He reminds Ignis, even though he doesn’t feel tired. He wants to stay awake for as long as possible, wants to spend as much time with this Ignis that he can. “So, give me a task, otherwise I’m going to go back in there.”

Legumes and spring onions and set down in front of him. He balks at them, not wanting to have anything to do with them, which brings more laughter to leave Ignis’ mouth. He turns his head to glare at him, but can’t keep the small smile off of his face. “I won’t put them into your omelet. I just need you to cut them for me.”

“Fine.” He grabs the small knife, and begins to cut the legumes first. After a few quiet minutes, Noctis clears his throat. “Hey, Ignis?”

“What is it?” The sound of the whisk hitting the metal bowl stops, as Ignis turns to give him his full attention.

“What do I look like to you?”

“What?”

He groans, and tries to think of a better way to ask. “I mean, what do you see when you see me? Do you just see the Prince of Lucis? Do you see a friend? Someone with ridiculous hair, and an awful sense for fashion?”

“I mean, you do like to wear black a lot.” Ignis teases him, then goes back to whisking the eggs. “I’m not sure where this is coming from, though.”

Noctis shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know.” _You lose your eyesight_. “It’s just something I was thinking about. Like, to me - you’re the person that I look up to the most. The person that I always gauge their reaction on if I’m doing something correct or not. And, if I see that annoyed look, I know I’ve messed up.”

“You never mess up.” Ignis looks over his shoulder. “Except with those cuts. Good lord, Noct. Do you think that any of us will be able to eat the beans if you don’t cut them down into smaller pieces?”

He looks down at the large cuts, and nods. “You’re right. I’ll cut them in half.” He gets back to work, slicing each large cut into smaller pieces, the tip of his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth, as he tries to concentrate.

“The way you crinkle your nose at the thought of having to eat vegetables.” Ignis breaks the silence after a few minutes, Noctis’ stomach flipping at the tone that Ignis uses. “I don’t know why you hate vegetables as much as you do, but it’s sort of endearing.”

“I don’t do that,” Noctis shakes his head. But, he knows it’s true. He can’t help but make a face whenever vegetables are mentioned.

“You did it the moment I asked you to cut those.” Ignis teases him, then starts to butter the pan. “Those cuts are good enough. Why don’t you make us some coffee?”

“Okay.” He grabs the coffee beans, and starts to grind them.

The coffee begins to percolate, the smell rousing the two sleeping men out of slumber. “M-Morning…” Prompto yawns, as he stands at the door of the caravan. “Whoa, Noct? You’re helping with breakfast??”

“Shocking, isn’t it?” Ignis replies, flipping the first omelet in his pan. “It seems the Prince wanted to pull his weight this morning.”

He starts to open his mouth to complain, but stops when he sees Ignis wink at him. That small gesture has his stomach flipping again, then another rush of sadness races through him. _Damn it_. He turns his head away, as he hears Gladio come out of the caravan, a loud yawn leaving the larger man’s mouth.

“Smells good! Oy, Noct?” Gladio says, staring at him as if he’d turned into a Coerul. “What the heck are you doing up already?”

“I get it.” Noctis sighs, grabbing the pot of coffee off the burner, and pours four cups. “I’ll just stay asleep tomorrow.”

Both Gladio and Prompto laugh at his comment, but Ignis doesn’t. Looking over at him, he sees a sad look cross his face, but it’s only there for a split second, before he nods his head. “Whatever you feel is best, Your Highness.”

He wants to say that he’ll keep helping out in the mornings, and in the evenings, but then - he knows he hasn’t been doing that their entire trip. He needs Ignis to stay ignorant, so maybe it’s better if this is a one time thing.

“Let’s eat.”

***

“I want to sleep in a hotel tonight,” Prompto announces, as they’re driving back to Lestallum, having run an errand for one of the shop owners. “Can we? Please?”

“It’s up to Noctis,” Ignis says, keeping both hands on the wheel.

Looking out at the countryside, Noctis knows that if he agrees, that means he’ll have to return back to the present. He’s not ready to go back, even though he knows that he _should_  be going back to the present. With a heavy heart, he gives a nod of his head. “Yeah. Let’s stay at a hotel tonight.”

“I’m okay to sleep outside, you know.” Gladio suggests, knocking his knee against Noctis’. “We don’t have to do what the chocobo wants.”

“Don’t you want to sleep on a bed? And have-” Prompto starts to say.

“Please don’t finish that statement,” Noctis looks over at his best friend, who is still turned back towards them. “I already agreed to staying in a hotel.”

They get back to Lestallum, both Prompto and Gladio walking ahead of them, no doubt excited about getting to stay in their own room for the night. Noctis can’t make his feet move, every step that he takes brings more sadness to his spirit. And unfortunately, it seems as if he can’t keep up his poker face to the one man he knows he needs to.

“Something is troubling you.” Ignis says, as they walk across the street at a snail’s pace. “What’s going on?”

Noctis shakes his head, afraid to speak for fear of crumbling in front of him. “I never told you this, but you have really nice eyes.” The compliment comes out of nowhere. “Why do you never wear contacts?”

“I prefer how glasses look.” As if to prove a point, he pushes his frames back up onto his nose. “They fit my face better.”

“Have you ever tried to wear contacts?” The two of them stop walking, standing off to the side of the walkway. He reaches up, and pulls the frames off of Ignis’ face. “You really do have nice eyes.” Noctis mumbles under his breath, feeling incredibly self-conscious.

His advisor moves his head forward, just a tiny bit. “If you would give those back to me, I’d be able to see your beautiful sapphire colored eyes.”

“Did you just say my eyes were beautiful?” Noctis keeps Ignis’ glasses in his hand, their heads inching closer together.

“Without my glasses, how would I?”

His eyelids start to close, as he feels Ignis’ warm breath start to touch his lips. “Ignis-”

“Hey!” Prompto shouts from what sounds like a far distance. Noctis hands Ignis his glasses, quickly stepping away from him, ignoring how hard his heart is now pounding in his chest. “What’s going on??” Prompto rounds the corner, looking at the two of them. “Did you guys get lost??”

Ignis puts his glasses back on. “No, but my glasses fell, and so Noctis was kind enough to pick them up for me.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Noctis cannot believe that Ignis just lied. “We’ve got our rooms! You guys get the suite, since it has two separate rooms, and we get the small room. With only one bed.” Prompto grins, his excitement barely contained.

Noctis nods. “Okay, great. I’m going to head back there now.”

“Wait, Noct-”

He shakes his head, and starts to walk away from both Ignis and Prompto, trying to distance himself from these conflicted feelings that are suddenly plaguing his mind. He makes it back to the hotel, and heads up to the registration, knowing that the only way to call his four-legged friend is to act as if he’s going to be staying the night there. He leans down, petting the top of his head.

“Noctis.” He turns to look over at the entrance of the hotel, and sees Prompto and Ignis, the former heading up the stairs as the latter looks at him. “The way you smile, when you see him,” Ignis nods towards Umbra. “Like you’re going to see an old friend.”

It’s a struggle to not burst into tears right then, as he looks up at Ignis. “Yeah.”

“See you upstairs?” Noctis doesn’t bother to say yes or no, as he knows that Ignis is aware of what Umbra being here means. With a wave, he watches Ignis follow Prompto up the stairs, leaving him alone with Luna’s dog.

Closing his eyes, he places his hand on top of Umbra’s head, and feels reality shift back to the present. A fraction of a second had gone by, confirmed by the ticking of his watch on his wrist. He pats Umbra on the head, who barks quietly, then takes off down the train car, heading to who knows where. Noctis stands up, and heads back out to the station, where he sees Prompto leaning against the railing.

“Ignis and Gladio are grabbing a bite to eat in the dining car.” Prompto doesn’t look at him, no doubt still upset about what had happened on the train earlier. “I said I’d get them when we’re ready to go.”

“Why don’t you go and grab them, and we’ll head down there.”

His best friend kicks himself off the railing, and heads back towards the train. When he sees the three approach him, he tries to push away the sadness that seems to cloud over him, whenever he sees Ignis, the scars on his face marring his once perfect features.

“Shall I remain up here?” Ignis asks, his voice quiet.

“No.” Noctis shakes his head. “You’re coming with us.”

“I shall do my best to not be too much of a problem, Your Highness.” Ignis replies, his voice thick with emotion.

He pats his hand on Ignis’ shoulder. “You’re never a problem. Come on, let’s go get this sword.” He lets go, and heads towards the elevator, which will take them down to where they need to be. The four step onto the lift, no one saying much of anything, as they make their descent down.

Noctis already wishes he was back in the sleeper car. This is not what he wants to do right now, but as the King, he must move forward, no matter how difficult it may be. With a sigh, he steps off the elevator, and does exactly that.

***

After almost coming to blows with Gladio, and Ignis discovering he has the ability to sense things that he had not prior to losing his eyesight, the four successfully get the last Royal sword. After the struggle of the fights, they return back to the station, where the train awaits to take them on to Tenenbrae.

“Are you going to call Umbra?” Ignis asks him, as they walk onto the stationary train.

“I won’t be gone that long,” Noctis answers, with a nod of his head.

The two walk towards the sleeper car together, Ignis now more confident than he had been prior to them going down to retrieve the sword. When Umbra appears, Ignis leans against the wall, looking down at the two of them. “You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” He kneels down, and scratches the top of Umbra’s head.

“Noct?” Looking up, he sees Ignis staring at him, the sunglasses he’s taken to wearing shielding him from seeing the opaqueness of his damaged eye. “Have fun. Enjoy yourself.”

“Be right back.” His hand lays flat on Umbra’s head, closing his eyes to allow the reality shift to take place.

The sound of a Catobelpas carries across the valley of Duscae, the caravan they’ve chosen to sleep in for the night providing better shelter from the rain that seems to be falling outside. He sits up, the couch not at all comfortable, but it’s better than sleeping on the wet ground in a tent. Rubbing his eyes, he looks around, and takes in the sight of his three friends.

Gladio and Prompto are doing their best to share the small bed that’s situated in the back of the caravan, both snoring at opposite times. He can’t help but wonder how they are even able to sleep like that, as their snores have kept him up at night. It’s probably why he likes sleeping in the car, as they travel towards their next destination. He turns to the other side of the caravan, and sees Ignis sound asleep on the couch opposite him. Part of him wants to get up and go over to him, needing to be closer to him, but he remains in his spot, taking in his unmarred features.

“Why are you awake?” Eyes slowly open, showing him the crystal blue eyes that he misses so much. “Did you have another nightmare?”

He knows that Ignis is aware of Umbra, and how Umbra allows him to travel to the past. He wonders if this question of a nightmare is his way of finding out if this is present Noctis, or if it’s the Noctis from the future. Or, maybe Noctis is just overthinking it, and the man is actually concerned why he’s awake. “They seem to be occurring more.” He pulls the blanket up to his chest, keeping his eyes on Ignis’. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, I was drifting in and out of sleep.” Ignis yawns, then puts his glasses onto his face. “Would you care to go for a walk?”

“What about the rain?” Noctis asks, as he pushes his blanket off, answering the question through his actions. He stretches, noticing that he’s back in his slacks and vest attire. He wonders how much time has passed, since he’d left them in Lestallum, but knows he can never ask that. Maybe it’s been two days, or maybe it’s been a couple of weeks, or maybe they haven’t reached Lestallum yet. That’s the only drawback of utilizing Umbra’s ability to allow him to travel back in time - he doesn’t know when he drops in.

“Since when has a little water bothered you?” There’s a smile on his face, which makes Noctis’ own lips return the smile. “And really, I’m sure it will stop soon enough.”

They head outside together, Ignis closing the caravan door with barely a sound, the light fall of rain dusting their hair and bodies. They walk across the road, and head down towards the lake, the Catobelpas’ noises continuing to carry across towards them. The rain stops after ten minutes, the night sky now filled with a multitude of stars, the moon slowly rising up in the sky. He looks up, and basks in the glow of the moonlight, closing his eyes to take a moment.

“The way you look up at the sky at night, and how it brings a calmness to you.” Ignis’ voice causes the hair on his arms to pebble up. “You think that no one watches you, but they do.”

He keeps his head turned up towards the sky, the sadness now mixing with a new feeling - one he had begun to let himself feel the last time he’d come back here. “I prefer the night,” Noctis replies.

“It suits you better.”

At least he knows now that the last time he had been here has already happened, thanks to Ignis’ comment. He pulls his chocobo whistle from his pocket, and blows on it. When his chocobo appears behind him, he looks over at Ignis. “Let’s go for a ride?”

Hopping onto the back of his chocobo, he sees Ignis get on his, holding the reins up. “Which way should we go?”

“Does it matter?” With a kick of his heels, his chocobo takes off, blasting a loud ‘wark’ as he guides her to race across the valley. He hears Ignis’ chocobo, the two of them riding side by side, releasing excited warbles as they begin to glide down towards the bottom of the valley, heading closer to the lake.

No Magitek or daemons come for them, as they continue to push their chocobos towards the rocky peaks. They make it all the way to the other side of the valley, Noctis hopping off his chocobo to climb up the rocks. He gives his chocobo some greens, then lifts himself up, and takes a seat on the ledge of the rock. Ignis sits down beside him, the two of them looking back out towards the lake, the night passing by at a faster pace than Noctis wants.

“The look of concentration when you ride your chocobo makes you appear to be far more sinister than you really are.” The two of them watch their chocobos enjoying their late night snack. “Or how you smile whenever you get a good glide to happen. The elation that appears on your face could put a smile on the most sour person’s face.”

“So, you smile?” He leans over, to rub his elbow against Ignis’ side. It makes contact, but he finds himself still leaning over, until his head comes to rest on Ignis’ shoulder.

A soft chuckle leaves Ignis’ mouth, which he can feel against his face. “Do I not smile that often?”

“I think neither of us do.” Noctis tries not to notice how Ignis scoots just a _little_  bit closer to him, doing so discreetly that the only reason he notices is because his side is now touching Ignis’. “Too many bad memories from the past.”

Lips touch his forehead, shock flooding through him. “I would say this is a good memory, wouldn’t you?” Ignis asks, before resting his head back on top of Noctis’.

“Yes,” Noctis whispers. Brushing away the sudden grief he begins to feel, he tilts his head back to look up at the night sky. “This is definitely a good memory.”

A gloved hand touches his cheek, turning his head to look towards Ignis. His glasses have been removed, the light from the stars making them appear much darker than they normally would in the sunlight. Noctis stares into his eyes, and feels himself being drawn in closer to him, afraid that if he shuts his eyes, that he’ll be back in the sleeper car, this memory already long gone. But, the thrill of knowing what’s about to happen has him surrendering to his basic human need, eyelids falling closed as he parts his lips.

Their lips touch with just the barest hint of a kiss, both pushing their lips forward with uncertainty. Noctis feels himself falling, falling to a place he knows he can’t be going, but it’s too late to stop it now. Instead, he opens his mouth, and invites Ignis’ tongue in, the timidness now gone. In its place is a raw fervor that neither had been aware they were capable of, but as their tongues rub against each other, it becomes plain as day that this is how things are meant to be. Noctis moans low, and soon finds himself sitting on top of Ignis’ lap, as their kisses become more passionate.

Neither say a word, as they pull apart to breathe, the stars beginning to disappear in the pre-dawn light. “W-We should head back to the caravan,” Noctis says, even though it’s not at all how he feels.

“Are you ready to go now?” Ignis places his hand against his cheek, the cool leather a welcome relief against his flushed skin.

“Never,” Noctis whispers. He wishes he could stay in this time, stay here for as long as he can, without having to worry about what’s happened in the future. “I want to stay here forever.”

Foreheads come together, as they both hold one another. “We both know that cannot be.” Ignis replies, after a few minutes of silence.

“Let me enjoy it for now, Ignis.” He wants to plead with him, wants to beg him to just stay here on this rock with him for the day. Prompto and Gladio can manage on their own for a day.

Ignis presses his lips against Noctis’, answering with a soft kiss, and then another. “We can enjoy it again tonight. We’ll make camp. No caravans, no hotels.”

He lifts his head, eyes locking with Ignis’. _He knows_. The promise of staying away from the two places where he doesn’t have to face Umbra seals the deal for him. “We can go back.”

They race back towards the caravan, their chocobos more than happy to get the exercise, as sunlight begins to stream down upon them. Noctis almost wishes that the rain would come back, as the sweltering humidity steadily increases, the closer they get back to the caravan. They hop off their chocobos, bidding them farewell, watching as they trot back towards the Wiz Chocobo Farm. Noctis opens the door for Ignis, who goes in, and takes a seat on the couch he’d been sleeping on. Not wanting to be separated from him, not after what had just happened, Noctis sits down next to him, the two of them stretching out together on the couch. Languid kisses are shared, as neither are rushing into this newly awakened desire, and soon, the two fall back asleep, Noctis resting comfortably in Ignis’ arms.

Gladio wakes them up a couple of hours later with gentle shaking. “Rise and shine, boys.” Gladio grins, a knowing expression on his face. “I can make us breakfast, if neither of you are feeling up to it this morning.”

“Not Cup Noodles,” Noctis grumbles, keeping himself close to Ignis’ body.

The beefy man guffaws, making both Ignis and himself wince at the sound. “Fine, no Cup Noodles. Oy, Prompto! Get yer ass out of bed, and come help me make breakfast!”

“W-What?” Prompto yawns, rubbing his eyes. “Why are you gonna make breakfast? Why isn’t Ignis? Is he sick?”

“No, I am not ill.” Ignis says, the noise sounding far too loud in Noctis’ ear.

“OH!” Prompto gasps, as he sees the both of them. “Y-Yeah, okay! Come on, Gladio! Let’s go buy everyone some breakfast.”

“You guys got a half hour,” Gladio warns them, before the caravan door closes, leaving the two of them alone.

Noctis feels his face becoming flushed, as he lifts his head to look into Ignis’ eyes. “Do you just want to go with them to Kenny Crow’s?”

“I think it might be better if we did,” Ignis agrees. “But, tonight….”

“Tonight….?”

“I’ll pay for them to spend the night in a hotel, and you and I….”

“We’ll sleep in the tent?”

Ignis nods his head. “Yes.”

“Good.”

***

After a long day of completing various hunts, Ignis keeps to his word, paying for a hotel room for both Prompto and Gladio. Neither complain, excited to be enjoying the luxury of a hotel, while both Ignis and Noctis choose to camp instead. They make camp just outside of town, both sharing the responsibility of making dinner. They sit in front of the campfire, and enjoy their meal, the nocturnal sounds of the area filling in the silence between their conversations. Noctis cleans up the plates, helping Ignis put everything away for the night, almost happy to be doing such a mundane chore with him.

He heads into the tent first, his heart beating a mile a minute, not sure how things are about to go. He knows how he wants them to go, but doesn’t know how to make it happen without sounding like a complete moron. Ignis enters the tent, and zips the flap closed, sealing the two of them in.

“Are you nervous?” Ignis asks, as he kneels down onto the ground.

“Very,” Noctis nods his head.

“You have no reason to be.” He watches him take off his gloves, his eyelids falling closed as he feels the touch of Ignis’ hand against his cheek. “We’ve known each other for how long?”

“Too long.” He turns his head, pressing a kiss against the palm of Ignis’ hand.

“I love how you look, when you kiss me like that.” Ignis speaks low, as he continues to pepper kisses against the palm of his hand.

“But we only just kissed,” Noctis reminds him, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

“That may be, but it feels like it’s the most natural thing in the world.” Ignis whispers, his fingers gently digging against Noctis’ scalp. “Like it’s what’s meant to be.”

Glancing up, all he sees is a small band of blue, as Ignis’ pupils are dilated. He knows his have to look the same, as the passion he feels for this man begins to overtake his body. One second, they’re discussing how natural this all feels, and the next, he’s gasping for breath, as their mouths crash together with an ardent kiss. Whatever nervous energy he may have been feeling throughout dinner disappears, as clothes are quickly removed from both of their bodies.

Ignis starts to kiss his neck, making his way down to his chest. Noctis arches up, groaning low as his nipples get teased by Ignis’ tongue and teeth. “Your eyebrows scrunch together when you concentrate,” Ignis kisses more of his skin. “How you get this look when you’ve just discovered something.”

“M-More…” Noctis moans, as he lifts his hips up, pushing himself down upon Ignis’ fingers. “Tell me more…”

“How I can’t wait to see what you’re going to look like, when I make you orgasm.”

A wet finger pushes into him, Noctis tossing his head back with a loud moan. He rolls his hips, pushing down on the man’s finger, wanting to feel more - _needing_  to feel more. “I-Ignis…” He moans, his eyes half-lidded as he looks down at the man who is pushing his body to its limit. “Keep watching me….”

“I will, Noct.” Ignis moans low, as he adds a second finger into his body. “I want to memorize every single expression on your face tonight.”

“ _Yes_ ….”

He tries to keep his eyes open, but when a third finger pushes into him, he loses himself to the intense pleasure spiking through his body. The warmth of Ignis’ hand touching his arousal has him screaming, as the three fingers push deeper into his body. Blood rushes from the tip of his head, to the tips of his toes, as he orgasms, a low, guttural moan leaving his throat as he comes from the simple touch of Ignis’ hand.

The fingers that are in him disappear at the same moment their lips come together, hungry kisses exchanged between their lips. He feels the tip of Ignis’ cock push against his loosened entrance, and with a simple lift of his knee, it pushes into him. Their kiss breaks off, as Noctis tosses his head back a second time, trying to put all of his energy into not coming, as the way Ignis’ cock slips into him feels far too good.

“The expression on your face,” Ignis whispers into his ears, as he thrusts his hips slow. “The utter euphoria on your face, as I bring you to your climax. _That_  expression is my favorite, Noctis.”

“N-Never….forget it!” He moans, rolling his hips, pushing himself down onto Ignis’ cock. “I w-want you….to see it….forever…”

“I will,” Ignis moans low into his ear. “For it is the most beautiful thing in this world. The love I see in your face, as we share this intimacy….”

Tears begins to fall from his eyes, as Noctis loses the battle to keep calm. “I love you.” He admits it freely, knowing now - after everything that they’ve been through together, that it’s the complete truth. “I love you so much, Ignis.”

“I know, Noct.” Ignis rolls his hips faster, pushing himself deeper into his body. “I love you too. I will love you _forever_.”

Opening his eyes, he stares up at Ignis, moaning loud with each thrust of his hips. Ignis puts his hand back onto his cock, and starts to stroke him in time with his thrusts. He tries so hard to not come, but it’s a losing battle. Noctis shouts his name, as pleasure tears through his body, his orgasm shaking him to the core. He hears Ignis moan his name, the sweetest sound he’s ever heard, and then feels him reach his climax, the rush of his release perpetuating his own euphoric bliss.

Ignis slips out of him, the two sharing kisses with one another. Noctis doesn’t feel any sort of pain, nor does he feel bad about what the two of them have just done. He knows that he’d been a fool to not realize his feelings before everything, but now - he’s not going to ignore them. He _can’t_ , because he’s far too deep in love with Ignis. The Rite has proven that to him.

“Are you staring at me?” He asks, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Yes.” Ignis whispers, brushing his lips against his temple. “I’m enjoying how peaceful you look post-coitus.”

Chuckling, he presses a kiss to his jawline. “What’s your favorite feature of mine?”

“Your inability to allow me to enjoy a moment.” He lifts his head up, and sees a smirk on his advisor’s face. “Your smile.”

“Your eyes are mine.” His fingers touch Ignis’ eyebrows, touching skin that has yet to be damaged. “I-”

“Don’t tell me.” Ignis whispers, shaking his head. “We both know you can’t.”

It hurts to hear him say this, but Noctis knows he’s right. “Just promise me something.”

“I shall do my best.”

“Don’t forget this night, okay?” Noctis whispers, suddenly overcome with emotion. “No matter what happens, please remember this night.”

“I can’t imagine being able to forget this,” Ignis kisses him softly. “But it’s not over yet, is it?”

He shakes his head. “It’s not.”

“Then, let’s stop talking, and make love.”

Noctis moans low. “Take me, Ignis. Make me forget the pain…”

“It will be my honor.”

They stop talking, and instead communicate with one another through touches, caresses, and passionate embraces. They stay up all night, both clinging to each other, neither ready for the dawn to come.

***

The next night, the four head back to the hotel in Lestallum. Noctis doesn’t want to go, but he knows that he must. He sees Ignis standing by the wall, watching as he goes up to the bellhop, which summons Umbra back to him. Kneeling down, he scratches the top of his head with a sad smile on his face.

“See you upstairs?” Ignis asks.

Noctis knows that they both know that won’t be the truth. He hopes that the present version of him here won’t mind too much that he’s crossed the line with Ignis. What’s done is done, and it can’t be taken back. “Goodbye, Ignis,” he whispers, as he puts his hand on top of Umbra’s head, allowing the dog to bring him back to the present.

He looks at his watch, and sees that a total of five minutes have passed in this time. He pets Umbra a few more times, before patting him on the back, allowing him to leave. He looks up, and sees Ignis is still leaning against the wall. Memories of their experience together hit him like a ton of bricks. A hand closes around his wrist, bringing his attention down. He sees a leather covered hand wrapped around his wrist, which then brings his head back up.

“My eyes,” Ignis whispers, as he moves closer to Noctis. “My eyes were your favorite feature.”

“I’m so sorry,” Noctis breaks down, crying softly. “Ignis…”

“Everything about you was my favorite thing to see,” Ignis pulls him close. “And now that’s gone.”

“But I’m still here,” he whispers. “Please….”

“This won’t be easy.” Their foreheads come together, as Ignis keeps him close. “Noctis - I remember _everything_.”

Pressing his hands against Ignis’ cheeks, he kisses him hard, not caring who can see them. It takes a few moments, but soon, Ignis is kissing him back, the two struggling to get as close to each other as they can. Noctis drags him into the sleeper car, and quickly locks the door, giving them some privacy.

Even though it’s been weeks since the two had shared something together in the real world, it felt like it had happened yesterday for the both of them. Each kiss, each touch, is filled with love that neither could have admitted to one another, had it not been for their trip to Altissia. Noctis whispers into Ignis’ ear how much he loves him, how his smile can’t stay off of his face, as he brings the both of them to orgasm. Both men are crying - a combination of tears of relief, mixed with tears of regret and sadness. They make love again, neither really ready to move on to the next part of their journey, instead wishing to remain in their current state.

They lay together, Noctis resting his head on Ignis’ chest. “I’m sure Gladio is going to come and find you soon.” Noctis tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but after going to get his last sword, he had really wanted to give his ‘shield’ a piece of his mind.

“He’s got good intentions,” Ignis presses a kiss to his temple, not unlike how he’d done in the past. “Don’t worry. We’re all good now.”

“Are we?” He asks, lifting himself up. His fingers touch the scars on Ignis’ face, a rush of sadness returning to him. “Because it sure doesn’t look that way.”

Ignis pulls his fingers away from his face, kissing the tips of his fingers. “Looks can be deceiving, Noct.” He presses a final kiss against the palm of his hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” It feels so easy to say it now.

Knowing that it’s time to move forward, Noctis helps Ignis get dressed, and then puts his own clothes back on. He takes Ignis’ hand in his, and leads him out of the sleeper car, and then heads to the train that will be taking them on to Tenebrae.

“Will you be calling Umbra again?” Ignis asks, as they take a seat with both Gladio and Prompto, who are speaking in hushed tones to one another.

Noctis looks out the window, the train beginning to pull out of the station. “No, I don’t think I will be.”

“I’m pleased to hear that.” Ignis lifts their joined hands up, and presses a kiss to the back of his hand.

Smiling, he nods his head. “Me too.”

He knows that now is the time to move forward. He doesn’t know what the present, nor what the future holds, but returning the past will not help him on his journey any longer.


End file.
